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Divorce and Dating Prior to Divorce

When divorce is inevitable but husband and wife want to work co-operatively to end the marriage, entering into a dating relationship while the two of you are still under the same roof will make it more difficult for rational negotiation to take place. If you are able to set aside the emotions of going through a divorce and make a settlement that is acceptable to both parties, the level of anger and hurt can be minimized. However, if one or both parties decides to begin dating, especially before each person has his or her own residence, the ability to negotiate the settlement will decrease. Once the other party knows a dating relationship has begun, the level of anger and emotional instability will either go up and stay up, or fluctuate, but will affect the ability of the spouses to work rationally toward an agreement.

If the two people have already separated households and filed for divorce, entering into a dating relationship will cause less stress and volatility in the relationship between those who are working to become former spouses. Whenever possible, delay entering into a dating relationship until your settlement agreement is either completed, or well on its way to completion. Living under the same roof with a soon-to-be former spouse who is already dating someone else will almost always impinge on the negotiation process.

It is always best to limit the amount of information children have regarding their parent’s divorce, but it will be difficult for a spouse to be positive about the other parent if one parent has begun dating. In order to keep a boat that is rocking from sinking, consider delaying dating.

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